So, I've made up a little list that are real for me that is more motivating than, erm, death?
1.
Now that I have lost a bit of chub, i like that now, the top of my thighs are no longer a fire risk to my vagina or indeed when walking down the street, people have stopped looking round confused as the cheap nylon trousers rub together make it sound like two knights are battling it out in a sword fight.
2.
When I go for a bike ride, I no longer have that paranoid worry that it looks like I'm just sat on a pole, where the seat is, as the size of my ample ass has literally flapped over all sides of the seat. it kinda reminds me of freshly rolled pasta, draping over a rolling pin
.jpg)
3.
Ahh my favourite, public toilets.
I have issues with anything kinda germy. So public toilets are pretty horrid for me, especially ones underneath car parks or in petrol stations.
Us ladies have an extra special guest in the toilet with us, and that is the sanitary towel box.
Sometimes, if you are really lucky, it wouldn't have been emptied for a few days and is over filling with other ladies erm, monthly's.
This box is usually situated right next to the toilet.
If you are on the larger side, and you need the toilet, its nearly impossible for your ass not to touch this sanitary towel box, level with the opening of where you put your used towels.
BLEUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm writing this with a wince on my face. Lose weight ladies!!!! Even if its just for this reason!! Do it for the sake of your skin not touching the box!!!!
4.
We all have them, some blokes have a version. I have them and i HATE them. but i still wear them on nights out.
Suck em in nickers/body suits/shorts/tops.
When I get ready for a night out, I'm usually quite flustered as I'm still mum, as I'm slapping makeup and straightening hair. Trying to get kids fed, into bed, praying they don't start randomly throwing up so you can still go out.
I get hot, i get blimmin cranky, face and hair are done, now i have to get dressed.
Trying to squeeze my lard into different positions and areas on my body with the help of very tight suck em in shorts. Trying to pull the shorts up as the non slip bit on the leg drags on your skin, you do that viscous hip wriggle thing from side to side to get yourself in them. They are on. I'm walking like I've shit myself but I'm in and I'm a size smaller. Then i get dressed and I'm sweating so much because i have this extra layer of tight, unnatural fitting thing on me. Urgh.
I chose not to wear these hateful things anymore. I don't feel i need to :)
5.
My wardrobe used to consist of 1 maybe 2 colours.
Black and when I'm feeling daring, maybe very dark navy blue.
I felt like i was taking part in a Queen Victoria mourning process, because i once heard somewhere a million years ago that black is slimming. I agree in some aspects, but, jeez!
When you feel good, you start adding a bit of colour here and there, maybe with a bright(er) necklace or something. I cant wait to be a bit more confident, so i can fully come out of fat mourning and look bright and fresh all the time!
6.
4 boobs and bad pants
I have a confession to make. I don't actually know my bra size. Out of stubbornness and denial throughout my dieting years, i have continued to buy bras in the same size....
The results are this... When I'm losing weight my boobs look like they are swimming in to sacks of cloth, when Ive put on weight, i have 4 boobs, where they spill out everywhere and not in a sexy way.
I still wont get my boobs measured because I'm lazy and i don't want a strange lady prodding about me jugs.
BUT i will when I've lost a bit more weight. i want to have my top draw filled with beautiful bras and knickers, though i have got better on the knickers part, i used to buy those multi pack ones from the supermarket and wouldn't buy more until the bit of material was literally hanging from the strained bit of elastic. I now have some nice pretty shorts that i got from M&S.
Don't have the same attitude as me! Bras are expensive! But if you have 4 boobs, go and get a bigger bra!
7.
Back boobs make me cry.
Mine are going down now, but when i was lumpier, it would ruin a whole outfit and for some stupid reason, as i would walk down the street, feeling very self conscience about me bod, i would look at my reflection in car windows????! WHY????? It really was a case of 'should i buy a support bra for my back?'
When i first started getting fit, i could feel the sweat and my back boobs rubbing. Its bloody awful, but the only way to avoid this, is to lose weight.
8.
Getting out of a car, for me, is one of those challenges, especially if they have low seats. you know its time to do something when you need both hands hooked over the car door or roof to heave yourself out, making that grunting noise that your nan used to make when getting out a chair.
9.
I like to paint my toe nails. I think feet, in general, are ugly and freaky. So i pretty mine up a bit. When i was bigger, id have to heave my leg up onto a table, hold my breath, move my gut out the way and stretch to my toes. Then i have to do the same with the other foot. I remember watching Friends and the character Rachel was in the sitting room, sat on her bum leaning towards her toes to paint them with that toe separator thingy. i was really envious of her being able to do this. I'm not quite at that stage yet, but i don't need to shift my gut to 1 side anymore and i cant wait to get there! I will even take a picture of me painting my toenails in the Rachel position, then i know i have made it!
10.
Getting jiggy. Monthly bonk....Lights off please, don't touch there, urgh don't look, can you hurry up, I'm keeping this tshirt on.
Ahhh fat sexy talk.
When you are over weight, your mojo goes. The thought of mustering up any sexiness is as hard as someone telling you to go for a 6mile run. God, do i have to? pft.
You lose all the closeness with your partner and they feel rejected so you do it to keep them happy. Quite sad really. I feel for Steve, i must have made him feel like pants. Being so obsessed and unhappy with your body really does effect everyone. Every compliment he gave me i would dismiss and call him a liar.
When you start moving and shrinking, things come back to life that you thought were dead and gone, and its really great!
I hope you like my list of motivational things, you can probably even relate to them! Sorry if i have made you feel ill on any of it tho....
xxx
Dawn you make me laugh - so true but the funniest part for me is that your vagina is now safe and your thighs are no longer posing a fire hazard! You go girl!!
ReplyDelete